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Archive for the ‘love’ Category

I’m sitting here in a little coffee shop in downtown Safety Harbor with my boyfriend, looking out the window at the still-lighted trees and watching all the passers-by in the fading twilight hours of a rainy Florida day. I felt inspired to write what I have been thinking about; how two souls, with two very different personalities, can come to be one.

The Bible says in Mark 10, “…at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’ ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” While we all know that this passage, in its most basic form, refers to the sexual (and also emotional) union of a husband and wife, I think there is certainly more to it. In our society, where we spend so much time with our significant other before marriage, we become far more connected and “one” with each other before marriage. The time we spend together, talking, praying, attending church, snuggling, kissing, etc. brings us close together and helps us to form a very unique and tight bond, that we will never have with another person. This is one of the reasons why we are told to guard our hearts above all else, because our heart is the wellspring of our life, everything we do is affected by it. (Proverbs 4:23)We must be careful that we don’t become too emotionally attached before we are married to our sweetheart.

While we need to be careful how close we get, I have been realizing how wonderful it is to have that person to connect to, and how wonderful our differences are. My boyfriend and I are very different in many ways; we have differing backgrounds, tastes, preferences, mannerisms, dispositions, and ways of analyzing things. As we go through our lives together I realize that, because of this, life can be twice as beautiful and twice as sweet. I get to see beautiful things and hear wonderful music through two sets of eyes, and two pairs of ears. Things that I may notice and appreciate in a passage from a book or a portion of a sermon may be different from things that my boyfriend notices, and we both benefit from these insights. When we eat together, we try different things that may be unusual to us, and we often share the meals we eat; this makes the world so much more delicious and twice as sweet. We learn new traditions and share our unique cultural heritages–the world is twice as colorful. Through two pairs of eyes, two minds, and two hearts we experience the world together as one, and it is so much more sweet, and beautiful, than it would be alone.

Two souls, two eyes,

One heart, one mind.

Beating, blinking,

Loving, thinking.

Sharing all the earth,

Sorrow and mirth.

Two hearts, four eyes,

One love, one life.

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“for love of You
i’m a sky on fire
for love of You
i come alive
it’s Your Sacred Heart within me beating
Your voice within me singing
(out for love of You)
it’s all for you”

It’s amazing to see what we will do for the love of our most beloved one. A popular country song by Faith Hill says, “I’d go and capture the moon/That’s what I would do/Just to hear you say that you love me.” It a beautiful sentiment, and it touches my heart deeply; there are days when I cannot listen to that song without crying, because I love Justin so much. In every love song there is an echo of God’s love for all of us; every precious promise to always be there, each tear shed for a loved one in pain, and every heartbeat that longs to be near the one it loves. This is how Christ feels about us. How deep the father’s love for us, how vast beyond all measure, that He would send his only son to make a wretch his treasure. If only we could love Him as much as he loves us.

It’s astonishing to me to see what I do to show my love for my sweetheart, and sometimes it’s things that I do that help me love him, even if he doesn’t see it. I try to maintain a good appearance, and attitude, and do things that will bring joy to him. I have been on a diet and exercising, to lose some weight and be healthier in general. Before I go to see him I make sure that I am wearing something cute, and that my hair and makeup look good; I particularly try to wear things that he has said that he finds attractive, and I avoid wearing things that he dislikes. I always try to keep a positive attitude and be cheerful for him, particularly when he’s down. I try to encourage him daily, telling him the sweet and uplifting things that every man likes to hear their woman say. I pray for him; for his specific needs, for me to be the best girlfriend I can be, and for our relationship to honor God. I study the Bible, and try to develop good womanly skills like cooking, sewing, encouraging, and making my home a welcoming and peaceful place. I also try never to say or think anything that will tear us apart…many women get into the habit of bashing their sweethearts to their friends, in public, or mentally, and then they become bitter and stop treating their husbands/boyfriends right. Justin deserves better than that; all our men do.I thank God for Justin every day, and that in itself is a form of blessing. When I worship and praise the Lord, I also think of Justin, and I praise God for the wonderfulness that He has brought to me in our relationship. 🙂

Justin is a very busy guy, he does a lot with school, work, and the musical he’s working on, in addition to spending time with me. I know that simple things can bring pleasure, so I try to do things like bring him dinner at school (sometimes I get to stay and eat dinner with him), bring snacks when I know he has late night ahead, run errands for him, and sometimes I’ll leave a frosty (his favorite treat) in the fridge at his work so he can find a yummy surprise when he goes in to an overnight shift. When I see him and I know he’s had a long day, I make sure I: let him take a nap, cook dinner for him, give him a massage, talk to him, and let him pick what we do that night (movie, puzzle, video games, etc.). I try to do things in my life that will honor him: not get too close to other guys, do things that will help ME love him more, etc. Communication is very important too; I wish I could have him close to me always, or at least be able to talk to him whenever I wanted (I am very sad when I don’t hear from him all day). Sometimes I leave him letters at school, and messages on facebook, to encourage him and help him through the day. I always try to tell him what’s on my mind, to help me think clearly, and to keep him from having to guess at what I need in the relationship (boys aren’t always good at that. lol.). On those days when I do get to see him I am so excited I can barely contain myself; when we’re finally together I don’t want to let him out of my sight!

If we do all these things for a flawed human being, doesn’t God deserve even more? What if we thought so much about what God was going to see us wearing? Would he see an attractive and modest girl who wants to look her best and protect the eyes of the men around her? Would he see women and men who want to take care of their temple (their body)? What if we desired to be in contact with Him daily; if going a few hours without talking to Him would bring us as much sadness as not talking to our sweetheart does? Maybe we wouldn’t be able to sleep until we said goodnight, or couldn’t make a major decision without talking to Him first. Or perhaps we would change how we talked (and thought) about God and about other people; we would keep a closer watch on our words and keep profanity and perversity from our lips. Would we make everything an offering to him? Our time, our money, our talent? Would we share the things God has given us with others, as we do with our lovers, or would we keep every good thing for ourselves? It would be wonderful if we were always excited to be close to Him, if we would hate to be away from Him. Imagine if we loved God as much as we loved our sweethearts; the world would be a better place. Just a thought on the parallels of love.

“And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.” Ephesians 3:17b-19

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My boyfriend Justin is so wonderful, do you want to know why?

Justin is sweet, romantic, and dorky. He whispers sweet nothings in my ears and tells me cute things. Justin is a very handsome man, tall and slender, with beautifully sad green eyes. He leaves me sweet texts and messages on facebook, tells me I’m beautiful, and he picks flowers for me for no particular reason. 🙂 One of the first sweet messages he sent me, while he was working overnight security: “Good morning fair maiden. I kept watch over your kingdom during the night, now the day is yours and I must rest. Go forth and bless the land with your grace.” *sigh*

He is very protective of me, and is always wary when it comes to other guys. I really appreciate his protectiveness and slight jealousy over my attention; it makes me feel valued. I feel safe when I am with him, when I’m wrapped in his arms…there is no place I like to be better than snuggled up close to him, safe and warm. ^.^

He is a strong Christian and desires to please God with his actions. He is also a prayer; he always prays before meals and he often prays with me. He also prays for me when I am not there, and I really like that a lot. He is trustworthy and honest, a man of his word. I have no fear when I talk to him; when I ask if something is wrong (or whatever) I don’t have to worry that he is holding something back from me; if there is something he needs in our relationship that he isn’t getting, he tells me. I also know that I can trust him around other women…he keeps his mind clean, and doesn’t even pay attention to anyone else. Communication is highly important in a relationship, and I think that we communicate very well. If there is something bothering one of us, we can talk about it easily. Whatever it is, we’re comfortable discussing it because we want to keep our relationship healthy. I think it is very refreshing to have someone who can be so honest and open with me. We are also going to start doing devotionals together soon; just another step to keep our relationship strong and God-centered. 🙂

Something fun about Justin is that he is Jewish, or as he would say, “Jew-‘ish’.” He uses random Yiddish phrases fairly often and it makes me giggle. He is very funny! He likes puns a lot and will often go off on a long string of them. He is a drama kid, does some amusing impressions, and frequently writes comedy with his roommate. The two of them are hilarious together!

A neat thing is that he also likes the Medieval and Renaissance time periods; we actually met at a Ren Faire (through a friend), and have been back several times together. Of course we went in costume! I wore a medieval dress and he wore his kilt! 😀 (The first text he sent me was a picture he took while in Ireland…we want to go there someday together.) When we visited his family up north over Christmas break he showed me his sword collection, and we brought back his little gaming figures that he had painted; he did a nice job on them. They are from Lord of the Rings! He really likes LotR, and Princess Bride, and things like that. We often use quotes from our favorite fantasy epics and science fiction shows. We both enjoy sci-fi television shows; we watch an episode of Stargate every time we get a chance. (I haven’t seen very many of them, so we’re working our way through the seasons.) Next up: Star Trek!

Something that really makes Justin stand out from other guys is his sensitivity to my needs and desires. He is always checking on me to make sure that I am ok, that I have what I need in our relationship, and that I am provided for in the ways that make me happy. He often buys gasoline for me, goes places with me when he’s had little sleep, helps me eat healthier food, and makes sure that he has paid enough attention to me. On those days when I’ve overtired or feeling hormonal he takes very good care of me too! He knows how to calm me down when I’m stressed out, and can always cheer me up when I’m feeling sad. And when past memories make me emo, or I’m bothered by some guy, he is very understanding and patient with me.)He always knows the right thing to say, and his hugs and nuzzles make everything better! ^.^ He is also very observant of things that I need or want. For my birthday he bought me a wooden pennywhistle. I had mentioned once somewhere in the beginning of our friendship that I would like to have one someday, and he got it for me! 😀 For Christmas he bought the third book in the Eragon books, and also got me some plastic eld ears. I know it’s silly, but I thought it was cute!

It’s rare these days to find a guy as responsible and hard working as my love is. He works long hours overnight doing security at his school, and has worked twenty-four hour shifts before, just so he could have off to go somewhere with me. He always takes pride in his grades, and works hard to make sure that he gets all his school work done and makes good grades in his classes. He keeps a schedule, and doesn’t just do things willy-nilly and irresponsibly like many college guys do. And even when he has a lot of work to do, he still makes time for me to meet my needs as well. He’s amazing!

I really appreciate that Justin is also very willing to do things that I ask him to do; like sing, or cook. He’s not a musician (I am a music education major) but he has a nice voice, and he likes Renaissance/Folk music almost as much as I do. I’ve asked him to sing more often, because I like it, and so he does. 🙂 I also think it is a good thing that he learn how to cook, and he agrees that it is a necessary skill, so he always helps me in the kitchen and is very willing to learn how to cook yummy food, so that someday in the future (if we marry) he will be able to take care of me and of any children we might have. Lately I’ve been trying to lose some weight and get in shape; a few times a week I go walking/jogging with some friends in the morning. Justin often goes with me because he is very supportive of anything I really want to do; he’s always been that way. He is encouraging in my efforts to be healthy, he supports my work as a composer, and keeps me from feeling too down when music stuff at school is irritating. He attends church, family gatherings, and random events that I ask him to go to. He comes to church picnics, my sibling’s concerts, and whatever it is that I ask him to go to. He’s so wonderful!

It makes me happy too that he gets along with my family. He and my father have theological and intellectual conversations, and my siblings always jump on him and give him a big hug when they see him. It is reassuring to know that my family really likes him. I think if I don’t marry him that my dad just might! He enjoys spending time with them I think, and I feel comfortable enough to leave him alone with my family. Hehe. 🙂

I know it’s silly, but I like the fact that he is nerdy, and very intelligent. We find sci-fi to watch, video games to play, and nerdy things to download. He is very good with computers and internet stuff, and is so very smart. We discuss interesting hypotheses about things and have fun being dorky together. We also talk about theology and history and music. It’s nice to have someone smart to talk to who is always willing to listen to whatever silly thing you have to say.

You may have heard of the book, The Five Love Languages, by Chapman. It’s a really interesting read. There are five main love languages, and if you can figure out which ones you and your friends identify with most it is very helpful. Justin and I share the same top three love languages, though we all use all five of them; quality time, physical affection, and words of affirmation. He is very good about spending time with me, telling me things that make me feel loved, and he is very affectionate. He is so sweet and tender, sometimes just a kiss on the cheek can make me melt. :’)

Justin is such an amazing boyfriend, and is my best friend. I love him so very much! We are coming up on our eleven month-a-versary in a few day, and I hope that we can be together for many years to come. He is such a precious gift from God. Thank you, Jesus, for bringing us together. Thank you, Justin, my handsome sweet prince, for being so wonderful to me. I love you!

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My Blessing.

This year I received one of the greatest blessings of my life. His name is Justin.

Justin first came into my life on April 4th of this year, at the Renaissance Festival. (Though I had seen him in a play two days before, he was the dwarf in “The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe.) I took my brother to the Ren Faire as a present for his 11th birthday; we had a lot of fun, and good brother-sister bonding time. 🙂 Before we left I had texted a few friends that I was going, and wondered if I might see them there. (It was the final weekend of the faire.) My friend Dan was going to be there for a few hours, and he brought two of his friends, Richie and Justin. I met the guys and we all hung out for a bit, both of Dan’s friends seemed very nice. We saw some of the musicians from “The Minstrels of Mayhem” play, and I took pictures for Justin; he really likes that band a lot.

That night I went home and looked Justin up on facebook, only to find that he had already sent me a friend request. That was the extent of our interaction. Click “add” and say hello, that’s about it. We had a brief discussion via wall postings on facebook about Dr. Who, but only because Dan had mentioned that I was also a fan of the BBC sci-fi series.

Almost two months later, on May 25th, Justin came with Dan to the church’s college-aged Bible study. We were both equally surprised to see each other. (Only later did I learn that one of the reasons he’d come to the Bible study was because he hoped I might be there. lol.) We all had a good time chatting after the study; Brian, Steve, and Cliff were outside working on Brian’s car to fix the bumper, while I was inside with Dan, Justin, and Ryan. We discussed (mostly) intellectual things. Talked about life, school, Dr. Who, traveling, and other such things. On his phone Justin had the Dr. Who theme as his ringtone, so I gave him my phone number, and he tried to send it to me. He made some silly comment along the lines of, “Hey, I get a phone number out of this…” lol. We couldn’t (and still can’t) get the ringtone to my phone. lol.

The next day I was home alone for most of the day, and Justin was working security, so I IM’d him and we had the chance to talk online for a bit while things were slow there. That night he sent me the first text message, it was a picture he had taken when he was in Ireland. We talked most of the day, on and off, sharing little things about ourselves, our pasts, etc. He seemed like a nice guy, but I wasn’t necessarily looking for anything more than friendship at that time. (I had someone I was interested in…loooong story behind that one. lol.)

The next day we talked online again, a little more seriously; beliefs, past relationships, things that bug us, etc. I don’t remember exactly what was said, but he started talking about someone he was interested in, and how he was afraid to tell her because he didn’t think she would be interested in him; his last relationship left him frustrated and feeling down. 😦 I assured him (knowing full well what was going on. lol.) that if this girl didn’t have any interest in him, I’m sure she would be nice about it. The next part of the conversation is basically as follows:

Justin: “I’m a failure.”

Me: “What? You’re not a failure.”

Justin: “A loser then.”

Me: “You’re not a loser either. Why would you be a loser?”

Justin: “Because, No = loser.”

Me: “I didn’t say anything…”

Justin: “Gih!”

lol. So that was that. He’d told me he was interested, and for some reason, I didn’t back away as I usually would. I’d met him once a few months ago, talked online via facebook wall posts, met at Bible study, and chatted online twice. I thought he was a nice guy and wanted to get to know him, but wasn’t ready to jump into anything with anyone. Only God knows why I didn’t back out when he said he was interested, but I have a feeling is was a God thing. 🙂

So for the next few weeks Justin and I got to know each other, spent more time together doing random things.We hung out with my friends, went running in the morning with some of my girlies, and went to church and Bible study together. When I picked him up for Bible study the first week after we’d met at study, he brought me a pretty flower. 🙂 A simple, lovely hibiscus he had picked. It was very very sweet. 🙂 We hung out on campus (where he lives) a few times after Bible study. One of those times I could barely look at him…I was blushing, and amazed that someone could think so highly of me and treat me so nicely. And then when I finally did look at him, he was practically paralyzed (so he says). lol! It was a silly situation, to say the least.

If you’ll read my previous blog (https://eowynfair.wordpress.com/2009/08/14/one-joy-expected-another-given/) you’ll read that I had some trouble accepting this wonderful blessing. I was really struggling between this one guy who I had been interested before, and Justin. This other guy I had liked for about a year and had been thinking about him and praying about the possibility of a relationship for that year. (THere’s more to the story, but I don’t feel like going into it now.) I had the option of waiting on the first guy (who I thought might have been right for me) but possibly missing out on something wonderful with Justin, or going for a relationship with Justin but possibly missing out on something with the other guy. Needless to say, I really frustrated both guys with all of this. lol. But they were both very good friends, and very understanding while I was freaking out. Justin in particular had a lot to deal with, but he was pretty wonderful about it. Thank you for being so good to me love!

Justin is one of the sweetest guys you will ever meet. He is protective, loving, and devoted…but not that passively sweet kind of guy that would just let you walk all over him. lol. He tells me sweet things, leaves me cute messages, and is there for me whenever I need to talk or want a hug. And for my birthday he surprised me with a wooden pennywhistle! It is so pretty! http://www.sweetheartflute.com/fifes/HiDfifes2-lg.jpg It’s the top one. ^.^ (And I didn’t look at the price…I know it had to be expensive…I don’t think I want to know…lol. He probably shouldn’t have done it, but it was a very sweet surprise and made me feel special.) And Justin has basically handled this relationship the way that I had hoped my first relationship would be. (Yes, he is my first boyfriend.) We have discussed various beliefs and values, and doctrinal things, asking each other specific questions to verify compatibility and such. We pray together, and go to church together, we go to Bible studies and discipleship meetings, we read the Bible together, and we talk about serious things. We set some basic guidelines for affection and such things, to keep us from misbehaving. lol. He’s a very good boy though, desiring to do what’s right and to treat me the way I should be. Thank you darling! 😀 And thank you Jesus for sending me such a wonderful man. ^.^

Funny story… One night he was over fairly late, and we had been having some deep conversations. There were tears and big hugs, and just some healthy bonding time. (This was also before any kisses. lol.) Well, we were snuggled on the couch, heads leaned together, and he was praying. As we were praying together, my roommate walked in the door. We jumped (because we weren’t sure who was coming in. My family doest hat sometimes. Gr.), and Justin says, “We were praying!” Erin looked rather bewildered, and left the room. Hehehe… So now it’s a big inside joke. lol.

Eventually we decided that we were definitely going to start a relationship, and we felt that this was what God wanted for us. We were basically together at that time, but hadn’t made it official yet. So he officially asked me to be his girlfriend, I said yes, and we changed it on facebook. lol. (July 13th was the official date.) We were together, but he still needed to talk to Dad. Eeek! I was still having some doubts, but I think that was mostly because this is completely new territory for me, having a boyfriend. Ack! But he talked to dad and, surprisingly, dad wasn’t all serious like I thought he would be. He gave his blessing, and that was that. He hasn’t really said much of anything about it though, which I think is cool.

So that’s the story; I’m in a relationship now with Justin, and I’m happy. ^.^ I think you’re finally up to date, and there will be more stories about Justin in the future, but I think this blog is long enough. lol. Have a great day!

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“What you have made me see,” answered the Lady, “is as plain as the sky, but I never saw it before. Yet it has happened every day. One goes into the forest to pick food and already the thought of one fruit rather than another has grown up in one’s mind. Then, it may be, one finds a different fruit and not the fruit one thought of. One joy was expected and another is given. But this I had never noticed before–that the very moment of the finding there is in the mind a kind of thrusting back, or setting aside. The picture of the fruit that you have not found is still, for a moment, before you. And if you wished–if it were possible to wish–you could keep it there. You could send your soul after the good you had expected, instead of turning it to the good you had got. You could refuse the real good; you could make the real fruit taste insipid by thinking of the other.”     –from C.S. Lewis’ Perelandra

Perelandra

This is too often true in our lives, particularly my own. We set out to obtain something that we desire…a particular school, a mate, a job, etc., and the one we receive is not what we were looking for in the first place. Often we are so caught up in thinking of the joy we expected to find, that we cannot enjoy what we are given, and so make the blessing we have been given taste insipid by thinking of the other.

Recent developments in my life that pertain to this concept, and that others may relate to as well, include my job, school, and my relationships.  I needed a job in early May, and was disappointed that I couldn’t find one after sending in dozens of applications. I finally got a job, much later than I expected but still in the nick of time, at Sam Ash Music. I quite enjoy working there, and there are some slight irritants in scheduling that I’d hoped to avoid, but this is the good I have been given. As far as schooling is concerned…I was uncertain of what to do with my life, wanting to do something great…but also wanting to have a very family oriented life. Where am I now? I am transferring to USF in the fall as a music education major. I didn’t particularly want to do either, because I didn’t want to go with the flow and do what every other music student in the area does…major in music education at USF. But God has worked it all out in such a way that this will be the perfect set up for me.

By far the biggest example in my life of expecting one joy and receiving another is also one most people could relate to…relationships. I’ve always had an idea in my head of the kind of person I’d like to be with. Since my experience in the romance department was limited (i.e., no official relationship ever), I didn’t know quite what to expect.  As I met people through the years (I quite enjoy making new friends), my ideas of what I wanted in a future husband changed a little with each serious interest, as usually happens. I eventually found someone who was very much like me in personality and values. He is a strong Christian, talented, a good man, and someone I might consider spending my life with. I prayed often about him and the potential for relationship with him, as well as conferring with trusted counselors, getting to know his friends and family (I’d be doing that anyway though, because he is still a very good friend) and other such things. In the end, however, he was not interested, for whatever reason. I was alright with that at first, because interest can develop as the friendship progresses, and I was very much looking forward to continuing the friendship without any of that awkwardness between us. All was well until Justin came along. lol. One joy was expected and another given. Justin and my other friend get along quite well, and are very much alike in personality, as well as in some mannerisms. But their differences are great when you compare them in context of relationship potential, and what I had been expecting from someone I was interested in. I was in great turmoil between the two; both wonderful men, one I had been praying about for almost a year who was not interested, and the other newcomer who was interested and already quite devoted to winning my heart. I realized during all of this that I may be ruining what should have been a blessing (Justin’s appearance in my life), by focusing on the good thing that I had been looking for initially. (And I actually thought of this quote at the time.) Now I am happily in a relationship with Justin, and the other guy is still a close friend, and like a brother to me. As my relationship with Justin progresses I discover many things about him that make this relationship better in the long run than the other would have been. Had I continued to focus on the good thing that I had initially wanted, instead of accepting the blessing that God was trying to give me, I would never have discovered these things, and would not have found my sweetheart. ^.^ One joy was expected and another was given.

I encourage you, my friends, don’t ignore the blessings that God sends your way by focusing on the things that you haven’t gotten. Sometimes things happen for a reason, such as losing a friendship or not getting something you sincerely desired, but God wants to bless us abundantly, all things will work out for good in His plan. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11) The choice is yours, my friends…you could refuse the real good; you could make the real fruit taste insipid by thinking of the other; or you can accept the joy that you are given, rather than focus on the good expected.

Be blessed.

Lewis, C.S.. Perelandra. New York: Macmillan Publishing Company, 1965. Print.

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